Thank goodness I'm a dog person - Anonymous postings #1

"Even if I ever do become a proverbial "cat lady," I'll still only ever own dogs." - me

Anonymous Reader Posts

OK Cupid, Stupid!

Check out my Ok Cupid Profile!

So, I have realized that putting myself on an internet dating site was more an experiment in social interaction and population ignorance than it was a valid attempt at finding a "mate". Below is why I am the dating site douche bag (with a vagina).

He Caught MY eye....

ME: Hi BOY, considering that +Phantom of The Opera  face thing you have going on, Im sure no one has contacted you at all. Well relax, I am here to liven up your mailbox. (No, that is not a euphemism :-)

HE: Nope, not a soul. How did you know no one has dared enter my dark dungeon where I compose the music of the night? How are you?

ME: I'm excellent. Kinda just waiting for the year to end so I can pretend to make a resolution I will pretend to follow but in reality just go through life wanting the same thing everyone else wants.....to touch +Kim Kardashian ass. Any plans for new years?

HE: Still working on that, actually. Though, if one were to touch +Kim Kardashian   ass, does it act as a fountain of youth or some other power-giving object slipping its way into reality?

ME: I think half the allure is that very question!

HE: Do you think that in the future, there will be some sort of pilgrimage to it, as well?

ME: Not sure. Perhaps more "in" it. Haha. Wow, quite a tangent we went on.

HE: Yeah, quite. Did you have a nice Xmas?

ME: I was a little sick but I'm +Jewish so +Christmas has always just been an excuse to get good seats at a new movie and eat +Chinese Food . YES! True to stereotype! I feel like the holidays are always full of stress and angst instead of the cheer they used to represent. I'm looking forward to a new year. How was yours? Does your family live out here?

HE: Most of my family does, my mom and stepdad are up north. I was raised Jewish, but the family always celebrated both+Hanukkah and +Christmas Day. Movies on Christmas are the best! If we lived in a place where the seasons changed and it actually snowed and felt like Xmas, the angst and stress would probably decrease, I think.

ME: Well I have come to the conclusion that you are cool as shit. Screw this internet nonsense. Here is my number: 818.0. Give me a ring and lets plan something so I know you aren't just a robot that has a setting of "cool as shit". :)
We went to a movie and dinner and had amazing conversation and we were definitely attracted to each other.  He called me the next day and never called me again.  Bitter, table for 1.